


fragile

by bemyvitamin



Series: hopeless without you [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Gang NCT, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Polyamory, Some Swearing, a bit of markhyuck, jeno's third person pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21558511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bemyvitamin/pseuds/bemyvitamin
Summary: The problem with breaking law and breaking trust is the same – what happens when you get caught.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: hopeless without you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1581688
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	fragile

**Author's Note:**

> ah, okay. so, this is my first work on ao3 and i've written it in two days, mostly because i felt empty and couldn't do anything else. i just hope it's not a complete mess. also, english's not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes.

Jeno knows not to panic even before the door opens. He heard the steps in the silence that settled in their room and recognized them as Jaemin’s more with his instincts than with his brain. The guy looks absolutely wrecked: drenched by the non-stopping rain outside, his clothes ripped in places, jeans stained in god-knows-what.

Behind him is a man in the hotel’s uniform, whom Jaemin thanks for the help, while making sure his body is hiding the people inside the room. That clever fuck.

Jeno stands up as the door closes, not knowing what to make of the appearance. Before he opens his mouth, there’s a click of a gun behind him. Jeno turns and freezes. Renjun is holding said gun in his hand, pointing it at Jaemin, with a fury that could rival any gods in any history of human kind. His breaths are quiet and uneven, but his aim is always true, Jeno knows this because Jaemin was the one to teach Renjun about the wonders of gun power. 

He also knows that this particular gun isn’t loaded.

“What the hell are _you_ doing here?”

Jaemin takes a step forward, dropping his bag on the floor. He doesn’t seem to mind the gun, his eyes are on the one holding it, full of something that breaks Jeno’s heart.

“I was looking for you.”

“Well, guess what, we don’t need traitors with us! Let alone those who work for the police." His voice's almost shaking. "Or did you come here with your team to take us into custody?”

“I left. To go after you two.” Jaemin’s voice sounds on the edge of being desperate. “I don’t have my phone or my gun, only some clothes. I was looking for you all day and–”

“How did you find us?” Jeno interrups, caring more about their safety than Jaemin’s excuses. 

“I know some of the fake names you use, so I looked up the hotels closest to where you were going in the morning and went to each one.”

“And what now?” Renjun hisses. “You’re gonna be on the run with us? Like all of this isn’t your fucking fault?”

“Renjun–”

“Hyuck almost died because of you! And remember Jisung? Your precious little protégé? He’s in critical condition right now, hiding in Chenle’s family hospital. If he doesn’t make it, that will be _on you_ , too.”

Jeno watches as Jaemin squares his shoulders, sees the hardness settle in his features before the next words:

“It was them or you two. There wasn’t any other choice, and even if you put a bullet through my head right now, I know I wouldn’t change anything.”

“You, selfish piece of shit” Renjun’s seething, ready to fight. Nothing Jaemin could say right now would make everything fine, all of them know it.

In two steps Jeno crosses the distance to Renjun and cups his neck in his hands. Renjun isn’t looking at him, hasn’t even moved at his actions. But when Jeno searches his gaze, he immediately reciprocates.

“We can’t do this now. We need to move to the hideout.”

Renjun’s eyes are full of angry tears, but he knows Jeno’s right. Still, he pulls the trigger – once, twice – all useless, there are no bullets inside. Then he drops the gun on the floor and pushes away, striding to the bathroom. Before closing the door he says to search the jerk. 

Jeno does just that.

Jeamin doesn’t move, doesn’t say a word. He just looks at Jeno, like he’s checking if that’s really him.  
There are no bugs on him, no weapons, only wet clothes and in the bag even more of those. Jeno sighs and takes a rushed step back, because he literally can’t stand being this close to Jaemin right now. 

He packs his and Renjun’s things, and when they leave, there’s nothing left to do but to let the guy come with them. 

***

Jeno joined the gang when he was eighteen – not out of school yet, in desperate need of money and with some good street-fighting skills. It was only two days before Renjun followed, and nothing Jeno said could persuade him not to. Renjun didn’t need money, his parents didn’t hate him for liking guys and, more importantly, he wouldn't let Jeno risk himself recklessly (alone). 

There was fourteen of them — each with their own skills and talents — and all younger than twenty-five, which was impressive, really. Most of the people in this field of work were about from thirty-five to fifty, younger than that and you simply didn't have enough experience to survive or not get caught. That said, their gang was somewhat special. 

There were four girls, two of them sisters and only one of them not quick enough to catch up on everything before trying to kiss Jeno. He gently stopped her with a soft smile and nodded his head at Renjun, who was laughing at one of Kun's jokes. They weren’t even together at that point, yet Jeno felt somewhat guilty, couldn’t even think of kissing anyone else. The girl apologized, all blushes and embarrassment, and from that moment they were always awkward with each other. 

Renjun once asked whether the two slept together, and Jeno swears he never in his life had to think up a lie that fast. Which says a lot, given that he’d been hiding his bisexuality from his parents for three years. 

The job they did was pretty easy. Their gang mostly controlled the flow of money in the outskirts of Seoul, striking up deals between the important guys, sometimes robbing them and sometimes doing the dirty work for them. Jeno didn’t mind that, he liked the adrenaline and the money was good. Plus, over the years he realized that without the people he worked with he didn’t really have anyone. Recruiting members since they’re young resulted in everyone growing up pretty tight together. Every little spat was demanded to be resolved before becoming a problem during a mission and most of them lived together, so it was hard not to get attached. 

Renjun didn’t trust anyone but Jeno and Kun for the first six months. He’d been bringing a lot to the team, being smart and cocky at the right times and acting naïve and silly when they needed to fool someone. Yet, he obviously didn’t like the idea of Jeno relying on someone so much while doing illegal activities. 

Not that he said anything, of course. Not until two years later, when Jeno was nearly killed after being the bait for some other gang’s leader, set to ‘show those little kids who’s the boss’. Taeyong was the boss. And he proved it. The mission was a success, with both Jisung and Jeno unharmed and the dude ending up beaten to a pulp. 

Renjun cornered him during the celebration party, in one of the empty bedrooms, all composed and cold, before hitting Jeno right in the face. 

“Could’ve mentioned that you were going to play cheese in the trap, asshole.”

“You’d try to stop me or go with me, and then we both would be in danger.”

“So you decided to take _Jisung?_ Like he’d have your back better than me?”

Jeno only sighed, still rubbing his cheekbone after the hit. He didn’t know how to explain everything without confessing his stupid undying love. 

“Why wouldn’t he? We’re all in this together.”

“You trust people too much, Jeno.”

“You trust them too, Renjun. I know it. I just don’t see why it's a problem now.”

He raised his eyes and felt the breath knocked out of him. Renjun had that trapped look in his eyes, one hand still holding the fabric of Jeno’s shirt in his fist.

“You keep leaving me behind the schemes like I’m some sort of an evil mastermind, while you’re the one bringing my plans to life, risking yourself in the process.” He took a shaky breath and bit his lip. “One day they will get you and I won’t be able to handle it.”

“Renjun…”

“It’s not like you don’t know, Jeno.”

The meaning behind his words hanged between them like lingering dream and he almost missed it. 

Almost. 

Renjun only managed to take a step back from him before Jeno gripped his shoulder, pressing them flush against each other and finally, after years and years of pining, kissing him. 

It felt like all at once: coming home, jumping from a cliff, exploding like a supernova and finding your anchor. Renjun’s lips were chapped, but fierce and demanding – just like the owner – and Jeno was ready to give up everything for this kiss to never stop. 

Someone opened the door and two voices interrupted the music that were the noises Renjun was making.

“Oh.”

“Fucking finally!”

Jeno didn’t notice when the couple left them but he felt Renjun giggling against his mouth and opened his eyes. The sight in front of him made him weak in the knees. 

That night they slept in Renjun’s room. Donghyuck apparently stayed at his boyfriend’s, so no one complained. Not that Jeno would’ve cared, if anyone had. 

It was between those little kisses and hushed whispers that Jeno promised Renjun to never leave him behind.

***

By the time they reach the hideout, it’s already late evening. The building looks like it hasn’t been visited by anyone in years, but at least, it’s safe. 

“Won’t they check for the gang’s properties during the search?” It’s the first thing any of them said since the hotel, but Jaemin, in his usual manner, doesn’t seem bothered to be the first to break the silence. 

“It’s listed as Renjun’s father property and no one can connect him back to us, since I doubt you told anyone about him.”

“Well, they know about you.” Before anyone can react Jaemin hastily adds: “You were already in their database, I couldn’t even convince them you weren’t important. You’re listed as a high-ranking figure among all of the other gangs. Dangerous, too.”

The last part feels a bit like flirting, their usual dynamic fighting to get back into its place. Jeno chuckles, but turns away, a hole gaping in his chest, reminding that everything is still too fragile. 

Renjun already strode ahead and went inside. He and Jaemin silently follow, stepping down the stairs and closing the door shut behind them.

They went through the back door, straight to the basement, because that’s the first place you go to see if anyone’s there too. Every hideout’s basement contains everything necessary for any mission – from equipment to the computer center with access to all the information in their system. This basement is pretty big, has several rooms besides the main one. There are tables with all kinds of stuff that Jeno can’t bother to think about, all under a thin layer of dust. 

It’s obvious that no one’s here, yet Renjun still opens the door in the back, to see if maybe Donghyuck’s there, playing Overwatch or hacking into his boyfriend’s Netflix account. The computer room is empty though, and Jeno can physically feel his disappointment. 

“He’s fine. Probably at Mark’s, since he isn’t involved in the whole gang thing, so no one will look for him there.”

Renjun just nods, and then they all go up to the second floor of the building where the rooms are supposed to be. Well, _a_ room. Though the basement is huge, the upper part of the house is pretty small. On the first floor there’s a shop, run by an old man (he once spotted Jeno and Renjun sneaking up, drunk and giggling through kisses), and on the second is a studio apartment with one bed, a small kitchen area and a bathroom. Jeno remembers standing in that bathroom one morning after realizing that while kissing Renjun, he also has one more person on his mind. 

Jaemin drops his bag on the floor and starts to strip. Jeno tries not to flush at the sudden images flooding his thoughts, then he remembers that Jaemin was soaked through, when he came to the hotel. Now Jeno notices that his jacket is ruined and jeans are ripped in more places than the designer probably planned. There are bruises on his torso, blood somewhere on his shoulder, and Jeno feels a shudder go through him. He turns to look at Renjun, wanting to find something to soothe this fear he just got at the thought of Jaemin being in danger. But Renjun’s gaze is hard and cold at all those wounds, and then he takes his clothes and goes to the bathroom, leaving Jeno alone with his broken heart and the person who was to blame for it. 

Jaemin’s asleep in the chair, snuggling into a blanket he found in one of the drawers, when Renjun finishes showering and calls for Jeno. The air inside the bathroom is almost unbearably humid and Renjun looks flushed, like maybe the water was too hot. He sits Jeno on the toilet and takes out a first aid kit. 

“Take off your shirt.” 

“You don’t need to, really. It’s just a few scratches here and there.”

“I saw the knife that girl threw slice through the fabric. Now, _take off your shirt._ ”

Jeno complies, not wanting to make Renjun even angrier than he already is. The cut isn’t deep and it’ll heal up nicely, there’s also a scratch where a bullet grazed his arm and some small cuts on his face. 

After a few minutes of silence Renjun finishes and stares at him for a moment.

“What are we gonna do?” Jeno blurts out before he’s able to stop himself. 

“You’re going to shower and then come to bed.”

“No, I mean–”

“I don’t know, Jeno. For now, we’re just going to sleep.”

At that, he puts away the rest of the bandages and leaves him alone. 

Jeno feels like he’s choking. 

The next few days crawl like a wounded snail. Jeno cleans Jaemin’s wounds and finds out that his shoulder’s been dislocated. He hesitates for some time before Renjun gives him a towel and advises to do it in the basement. 

The towel goes between Jaemin’s teeth and the shoulder back into place – thank god, Jeno’s done that before. They can’t afford to seek professional medical help while in hiding, so this will have to do. Jaemin doesn’t scream, more like whimpers, and Jeno can’t help himself, but raise his hand to put away the strands of hair from the other’s eyes. 

He insists that Jaemin sleeps with them on the bed, since, despite all reassurances, he’s afraid that the shoulder’s still not fine. Renjun’s not thrilled, but he knows that should they have to escape quickly, all three of them need to be in the best condition. So he nods, but always makes sure that Jeno sleeps in the middle. 

They try to get in contact with the others but frankly, all of them suck at technology, so they can’t track anyone down. The new sim-cards found in the hideout are totally useless since everyone else probably had to change their numbers too. 

The wait is agonizing. 

And so is Jaemin’s gaze, which Jeno can’t help but meet. 

Whether he’s cleaning up the basement or working out or cooking, he always feels those eyes on him. And dreads what’s about to follow. 

It happens on the fourth day, when Jeno finally gets to beat something up to release the tension – a punching bag. He wraps some cloth around his knuckles and spends several hours throwing kicks and punches, feeling the sweat on his temples and holding back the scream that accompanies his anger. It takes him a while to notice that he’s being watched. As soon as their eyes meet, he takes out one of the earphones, questioning look on his face. 

“Spar with me”, Jaemin says. 

Jeno shakes his head, declining, because fighting anyone right now isn’t the best of ideas, especially Jaemin. 

“Come on. My shoulder’s fine and I’m bored to death.”

“That’s not an excuse to get beaten.”

“Then maybe I won’t get beaten”. He smirks, and Jeno decides that he doesn’t care if one of them gets hurt. 

They do it right there, in the middle of a dimly lit room, Jeno still panting a bit after hours of training. Jaemin also wraps his knuckles in some fabric and steps right in front of him, daring a smile. 

“You first.”

Jeno doesn’t wait, he throws a punch at Jaemin’s side and isn’t surprised to see his attack blocked. His other fist is already hitting Jaemin in the stomach, and the other has to take a step back. 

Jaemin’s a good fighter. Probably, thanks to his police training, if he had any. His moves are fluid and light, punches land precisely where he wants them, evading the places he knows Jeno’s still sore at. He’s careful and fights at his own pace, which would be an advantage, had he not been fighting the guy who's been watching him do this for ten months. 

Jeno’s fists are merciless. He attacks where it hurts, he doesn’t pause and he doesn’t slow down, even when his breaths are becoming too short and uneven. He sees Jaemin wince and get tired, yet all he understands is that he’s furious at him and he can’t play truce anymore. 

He knows to stop, when he hits Jaemin’s jaw for the third time and the other is licking the blood from his lower lip. Jeno cups Jaemin’s neck with one hand, makes one move with his foot and they both fall to the floor grunting. Out of breath and shaking, Jeno sits on Jaemin’s waist and throws a final punch – not to the face, but to the stone floor next to it. He wipes the sweat of his face, some of it stinging his eyes. Jaemin’s expression underneath him is unreadable, and then he whispers:

“Should’ve gone for the face.”

“Maybe I should’ve gotten rid of you the first time you showed up.”

“That’s true, but you don’t mean it.”

Jeno hates that he’s right. 

The next few seconds are a blur. He leans down and their lips meet halfway. The kiss is rough and desperate, and Jeno hopes Jaemin can feel how much he regrets that he didn’t beat him into unconsciousness. His fist is in Jaemin’s hair, while the other’s hands are on his waist, gripping so hard it hurts. They are all teeth and tongues and sweat, and in that moment nothing else exists in the world. Except, of course, for one person. 

When they part – hot breaths on each other’s lips – the first thing Jaemin does is throw his head back, looking at the door. He's always had this ability to locate Renjun wherever he was, and Jeno knowingly follows his gaze. 

“Donghyuck says hi, and we’re leaving tommorow.”

Renjun doesn’t look affected by what he’s seen in any way, just turns around and leaves the room. Jeno closes his eyes for a moment, trying to get his thoughts into place, that warm feeling of relief flooding through him at the thought of seeing Donghyuck again. He pushes himself of Jaemin and drops next to him on the floor. 

They share the silence for some time before Jaemin utters a question:

“Do you think he’ll forgive me?”

“You were ready to get rid of them for us, so do you really care?”

“I do. I always did.”

“Let’s hope Donghyuck believes you.”

***

Jaemin appeared on the day of Renjun’s birthday. Jisung introduced him hesitantly, as if he had been the one to choose him as a member, when in fact he only met him at a fixed location and then brought him to the lair. Jaemin cooed at the boy, pinching his cheeks, and smiled at the rest of them.

Something in Jeno twisted in an unidentifiable way, and he knew that this guy was not someone to take lightly.

Though, actually, Jaemin seemed the complete opposite. He was radiant, a bit hyperactive at the time, but ultimately lovable which affected half the team instantly. He made his way to Renjun and congratulated him on his birthday with the brightest of smiles. Jeno thought about being jealous, when suddenly Doyoung grabbed him by the arm and dragged him closer to the pair.

“Perfect! Now that you, Jaemin, met our birthday boy – here’s Jeno. You’re all the same age, so these two will show you the ropes and answer all of your questions!”

“Right. For example, when you want to escape this hyung right here, better take any rope you like and just hang yourself." Renjun smirked.

“Oh, shut up, you brat.”

In hindsight, Jeno probably should’ve seen it coming from miles away. Jaemin slid into their lives as water drips through every crack it finds. It’s like all the thing that were fine before suddenly seemed incomplete, and while Jeno puzzled over what the hell was wrong, Jaemin’d already fixed it.

They were almost a match in physical appearance and in combat abilities, so Jeno finally could practice for fun, not just to remember the moves. Most of the others were either equipped in other fields or too unsuitable for anything more than a light spar for two minutes. But now, Jaemin and Jeno made a pair, could easily beat each other up, without holding back. 

Renjun would often sit through their sessions while reading another one of his psychology books for university (out of the whole gang, he and Doyoung were the only ones studying). The loser had to buy dinner for the whole trio. Girls joined them for those sometimes, Jaemin would flirt and throw his smiles, while Jeno time and time again found a new fascination with Renjun’s eyes. Which was getting ridiculous, to a point where once they saw Jaemin kissing someone in a club and then, Jeno just left, with his boyfriend in a tow, to some of the private rooms available upstairs. 

At that time, it seemed weird and confusing, but Renjun saw right through him and asked with that kind of annoyance he got when Hyuck was being too clingy:

“Is that because you like him?”

Jeno, in the middle of taking off his shirt, froze. 

“What?”

“Jaemin. I must admit, this is a weird ass way to be jealous of someone who’s not your boyfriend, you know.”

“But I’m not… I mean, I love you and…”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Jeno sighed and put his shirt back on. 

“I don’t understand how it works and why I feel it, but yes, you’re right.”

Renjun carefully took his hand and looked him in the eyes with a soft smile. Jeno couldn’t see why he wasn’t mad. 

“Jeno, first of all, it’s your feelings, and you can’t change them.”

“But you–”

“Not expressing my jealousy in the same way you are, but perhaps, I do feel it.”

It’s in that moment that understanding hit Jeno like a high-speed train: Renjun would always understand everything about him. 

Jeno must've been oblivious, because Renjun’s feeling for Jaemin were right there, in the open. It wasn’t the same aura he got when he looked at or talked to or touched Jeno, but it was something different that struck a cord in your heart, if you looked too close. Theirs was a playful relationship which had that underlying meaning at every turn. They were bickering discussing the details of deals or choosing the best way to get rid of an annoying rival. And in the next moment both firmly said no in unison to every option, which included anyone (Jeno) going on a mission alone. Jaemin also started to teach Renjun how use a gun properly, to which Chenle chuckled when they came to him to choose one. 

“Careful, hyung. You might be the first person he’d shoot.”

“Only if you won’t be around anymore, Lele.”

And so, the lessons started and the two of them seemed even more intimate than Jeno and Jaemin rolling around on the mats during their fights. Those touches and looks they threw at each other felt so fragile and pure. Watching them was exhausting. Jeno also believed that it made him fall even more.

Jaemin sometimes had those moments, when he became extremely quiet, as if a switch in him suddenly turned off. It’s in those days that Jeno actually saw what Renjun talked to him about countless times – Jaemin wanted them, too. He’d seek Jeno out just to put his head in the other’s lap and sit in his phone. He’d start reading a book Renjun had been talking about non-stop some time ago. He’d love them, quietly. Watching them together, following every word, finding comfort in the presence of each or both. As much as Jeno liked Jaemin’s brightness, he also longed for those days when genuine affection was pouring out of him in silent waves, only for the closest ones.

They were together during another one of those times, lying around in Jeno’s bed, when Renjun pushed his way in through the door and proudly announced that they were going to a club. He just finished his final exam, when Kun called him about a new buyer that wanted to meet somewhere on his own territory. Every new client always went through Renjun first. Plus, he did want to get exceptionally drunk after getting that A+. 

Jaemin and Jeno were supposed to be the back-up, since, as Renjun said, the two of them equaled to a bunch of professional assassins. He left the two of them dancing, promising to say ‘Boogie’ into his microphone if anything went wrong. Though, first meetings were almost always peaceful, given that it wasn’t one of the street lords trying to get at the gang for some long-forgotten debt. 

It wasn’t the first time that they danced together, but that day Jaemin’d been quiet, his eyes shining with obscure intensity which Jeno couldn’t quite read. He did understand the hands on his hips, though. And the breath at his ear, and the heat that was coming off from where their chests touched. Jeno felt euphoric at this new level of closeness and just tried not to get too bold too soon. 

By the time Renjun got back, a bit tipsy, after celebrating the first step of their partnership with the client, Jeno’s hands were in Jaemin’s hair, while the other was pressing him closer. 

“Having fun?”

Jeno lazily lifted his head from where it rested in the crook between Jaemin’s neck and shoulder and smiled. He moved away, letting Renjun come closer. The music was beating in pace with Jeno’s heart, when his boyfriend turned to the guy in front of him and pressed their lips together in one smooth motion. Jaemin looked so overwhelmed, Jeno let out a laugh. 

As the kiss progressed though, Renjun’s affection was passionately reciprocated, until they stopped to catch a breath and Jaemin opened his eyes to see Jeno. 

A night club full of drunk dancing people is probably not the best place to talk out your feelings, so they hastily left (not before Renjun pressed another kiss to Jaemin’s lips) and came to Renjun’s recently rented apartment, which was luckily nearby. By the time they stumbled through the door, Jaemin’s hand was on Jeno’s lower back under the thin t-shirt and the three of them grew restless. 

“Okay, no.” Renjun stopped in the middle of the room and took a deep breath. “We’re doing this properly.” 

Jeno had to stifle a whine, before flopping onto the couch dragging Jaemin down with him. It’s not like Renjun was wrong, but everything felt a bit too unreal to ground it down with words. 

“So, Jaemin? I can see that you and Jeno are practically in love, and I know that you like me, is that about right?”

“Uhh.. yes.”

Renjun gave Jeno a pointed look, and it took him a moment to understand that it’s his turn to speak:

“We can make it work between the three of us. If you want to. Not just, um. The physical department.”

Jaemin opened his mouth to say something, then stopped, apparently, trying to process the situation. Jeno saw Renjun count to five in Chinese with his lips before giving up. 

“God, you’re too much of an idiot for this.”

He climbed into Jeno’s lap but leaned in to kiss Jaemin.

*** 

“Why can’t we take the train? It’s like… a three-day ride by car from here.”

“Because _your_ people are still looking.” Renjun snaps. 

“They’re looking at all the wrong places, I’d been giving them false locations for months.”

“And do you think they can trust your information after you ran away with two criminals?”

Jeno takes a deep breath and just keeps away from the two of them, putting their bags in the trunk. It’s fuck o’clock in the morning and he barely has energy to keep his eyes open, yet Renjun and Jaemin are already at each other’s throats. 

“Why are you so sure they’re still looking?”

“Donghyuck hacked into their system, they posted notices and sent them all over the country. It’s pretty lowkey, since we’re not serial killers, but the attention is still caught.”

“I know Hyuck is skilled, but–” 

“He was the one to find out that you were a spy.”

“Well–” 

“BOTH OF YOU. SHUT. UP.”

Jeno sighs in frustration, after getting them to stop. He rarely loses his temper like that, but when he does, Jaemin and Renjun always pay attention. 

“I don’t want to hear another word. I’m driving first, you two can decide the seating however you want.”

Renjun rides shotgun and they spend the next few hours in silence. There were a few trips they’ve taken together to Busan to get some delayed payment from one of the buyers there, and Jeno was positively in love with those. It was a lot like being normal guys, out on a date and about to have a good time, instead of spending it beating out money of some old fucks. Now he just wants for this ride to end, to see Donghyuck and listen to him whine. 

Jaemin insists that they switch early so that Jeno could sleep in the back, so he drives next after a quick stop for fuel and water. 

Sleep claims him immediately, though it’s fitful and vague, and Jeno wakes up screaming one time, only to have Renjun cup his face and whisper some soothing words. After that, he’s mostly in the state between being asleep and awake. It's in those moments of unawareness that he catches Jaemin’s quiet voice:

“When did Donghyuck find out?”

Renjun takes a pause, maybe to torture him more, maybe to decide whether to answer at all. 

“Half an hour before they hit the base. He spent hours on trying to figure out that Jaehyun guy, who was writing reports about us. His mother was married twice before her current husband. Donghyuck checked her background and couldn’t find anything, and later it turned out she lost custody of you when you were ten.”

Jaemin never did like to talk about his family, but Jeno knew enough about parents who didn’t love you to not ask too much. 

“I’m sorry, Renjun. For lying about everything.”

The answer to him is complete silence, which Jeno completely understands. 

“It was… a task, so they’d finally take me on the team, even though I’m too young. Jaehyun-hyung said that there’s a gang they’ve been trying to catch, involving teens barely of age. One of in a lifetime opportunity that could fit me perfectly. And so, I went.” Jaemin pauses to take a breath, and then continues. “Taeyong-hyung took me in and I met Jisung and everyone else. I saw you, it was your birthday and you were smiling, and… I’d been trying to get rid of it. I’d hooked up with strangers, again and again, but I always felt Jeno’s eyes on me, like he was… judging me.”

“He was just jealous.” Renjun rolls his eyes and Jaemin chuckles at that. 

“Well, I thought all his jealousy was reserved only for you.” The fondness in his voice makes Jeno’s heart clench. “Anyway, it wasn’t long before I started to look for Jeno wherever he was, like, I wanted to remind myself that we’re, um, friends and so, I wouldn’t want to go after his boyfriend.”

“And that made you fall for him, in the end.”

Jeno yawns quietly, rising and rubbing his eyes. Jaemin catches his eye in the rear-view mirror but continues to talk anyway.

“Yes. And then it was the two of you, around me all the time and I knew. Even before we got together, I knew that I’d screwed up the mission. And I didn’t care.” 

“Yet, the base was still found.” Jeno can’t help himself suddenly, he just wants to know the truth.

It’s obvious to the three of them that Jaemin wouldn’t be here, if the other two didn’t have this tiny bit of trust left in them. He could be spying again, could be driving them to a police station right now. And yet.

Renjun once said that Jeno was too trusting. The truth is, they both are.

“They caught me off guard. Bugged my car, probably. But I’d only been to the base and that bar, where the two of you were going to meet the supplier. I knew the gang was supposed to move to a new location, so I hoped they already left. I told them which of the locations was the actual base, and while they sent a big team there, I tried to intercept the small one which was coming to get you.”

“So, you chose us over the others.”

“I won’t apologize for it.” His knuckles whiten from a tight grip on the wheel. “But I _am_ sorry for lying.”

“Are they looking for you now?”

It is the first time since forever, Jeno thinks, that Renjun sounds a little bit concerned about Jaemin.

“No. I didn’t do anything serious, just “accidentally” ran my car into theirs. Though, it didn’t help much, they just went on to get you, but I hoped it saved you some time.”

“The supplier thought we’re in cahoots with the police, so we had to fight them off first”. Renjun pauses. “What was next?”

“I came back home, left a note to Jaehyun and started looking for your location.” 

“Well, at least one of us isn’t considered a criminal.”

“They don’t know about you, Renjun. I didn’t provide any personal info on any of the crew.”

Jeno feels a knot tightening around his insides. Realization fills his thoughts and he’s suddenly breathless. He asks Jaemin to stop the car. As soon as it’s done, he gets out and goes farther away from the road, into an empty field. It’s vast and seems to have no limits, but it’s still not enough space for Jeno’s feelings right now.

Jaemin’s the one to reach him first. He hugs Jeno by the waist to stop him, but then quickly pulls away as if not sure whether he's allowed to do something like that. Renjun comes, panting, with a worried look on his face.

“Hey, come on.”

“I am a walking target, Renjun. They know me.”

“It doesn’t matter, listen–” 

“No! You followed me into this mess, even though I was the one needing money. And now you and Jaemin are _both_ about to be arrested for running away with me! I can’t handle knowing–” 

Renjun takes Jeno’s shirt into his fist to pull him closer and hisses into his face:

“I don’t care what you can or can’t handle, Lee Jeno. You are not fucking leaving, because you feel guilty for the choices _I_ made. If Jaemin can betray our friends and his step-brother for you and me, then you can at least accept it.”

He lets go, still seething, then walks back to the car.

Jeno stays still for a while, trying to will the tears away. Jaemin reaches out to him, gently taking his hand and kissing the knuckles, while apologizing, saying he didn’t mean to put it that way. They look at each other, and it’s too hard to take in. Jeno hides his face in Jaemin’s shoulder, lets the other comfort him and waits till his panic passes.

That night they stay in a little motel. The woman showing them the little room with one king-sized bed hasn’t even bat an eyelash at the obvious implication of them sleeping together. Renjun throws cautious glances at Jeno, who’s been quiet the rest of the day. He probably feels guilty for snapping, but he’s still right and so, he won’t apologize. Still, when they go to sleep, he hugs Jeno from the back and doesn’t even protest when Jaemin takes each of their hands in his. The warmth and the closeness feel strikingly familiar, which is the only reason Jeno’s able to fall asleep. 

The next two days they spend trying to mend whatever it is now between them. Jeno can’t help getting back into their chemistry with Jaemin, and they even manage to make Renjun laugh several times. It’s all painfully far away from what they’ve been before, but it’s still something, and Jeno is set to make it work again. He leaves the other two alone as often as he can, catching Renjun’s judging gazes. Once, Jeno comes back from a supermarket and sees Jaemin playfully press him into the car, so he guesses he must’ve done something right.

By the time they reach their destination, Jaemin’s in a good enough mood to sing along to radio songs, which Jeno encourages him to do by doing the same. They bully Renjun to tune in, but only get a warning to not distract the driver if they don’t want their car to run into a tree.

“By the way, isn’t Mark’s place back in Seoul?” Jeno asks when they pass the town’s name plate. “How did he and Donghyuck get this far away?”

“His grandparents live here. Right now, they are traveling with his parents, so the house was empty.” Renjun throws a glance at Jaemin in the back before adding: “Yuta and Yerim are also there.”

“And Mark still doesn’t know that Hyuck’s in a gang?”

“I think he had to tell the truth by now. But you’ll be able to ask him yourself soon, Jeno.”

They reach the place in fifteen. Renjun gets out and puts in the password at the gates. After that they pull the car inside, parking just before the doors. The house is big, it looks quite fancy and seems to have enough space for a big family. Jeno can’t help but feel relieved that Hyuck didn’t have to sleep in a car or in dirty motels. 

They are greeted by Yerim, who immediately runs to hug them, but freezes as soon as she sees Jaemin. This is going to be a pain the ass, Jeno thinks. He promises to explain when they meet the others, and Yerim trusts him (probably, not him, but Renjun’s firm nod) just enough to not start searching Jaemin for guns. 

Inside, they take off their shoes and go straight to the kitchen, where the others are finishing dinner. It smells heavenly, and Jeno suddenly realizes how long it’s been since they’ve eaten normal food. The table is big enough for six people, right now occupied by only two.  
Upon seeing Jaemin, Yuta has pretty much the same reaction as Yerim. Donghyuck is in the middle of whining at Mark about something and only turns around after hearing a quiet _Hyuckie_ from Renjun and a hand on his shoulder. He stands up in disbelief and immediately presses the other into a hug.

“God, I’ve been _so_ worried, Injunnie. What the hell, you’ve taken too long. Oh, Jeno! Jeez, I thought–” 

The next few minutes are spent at trying to hold Donghyuck back from jumping Jaemin. Mark, not really understanding what’s going on, holds him from behind, Renjun takes his shoulders screaming at him to listen. Jeno just holds Jaemin’s hand, putting himself in front of the other. He missed Hyuck a lot, but at this moment he’s ready to bolt any second with both Renjun and Jaemin in a tow.

“QUIET!” Yuta snarls. “You, kids, are a fucking nightmare! Sit down. NOW.” 

Never before was Jeno this much thankful to any hyung ever. 

He and Jaemin sit the opposite of Hyuck and Renjun stays by his side. When the silence settles down, Yuta says _talk_ and they do. Jeno softens the blow of Jaemin’s choice, by saying that the gang was indeed ready to leave that day, but those details don’t really calm everyone down. With a stone face Yerim tells them that Doyoung and the rest of the girls have been caught, though there isn’t enough evidence to lock them up. Jaemin repeats that he’s sorry, and it’s obvious that at least Yuta and Mark (who’s not really relevant, but still) believe him. 

“What now?” Renjun asks. “Is it over?”

Donghyuck doesn’t take his gaze of Jaemin when he answers:

“Yes. Taeyong’s already sold the new base and split the money between us all. Your new bank cards are with me. Those guys I’ve seen in police reports are gone into hiding and the rest are gonna lay low for a few months.”

“Are you…” Jeno hesitates. “Do they know about you?”

Hyuck shakes his head and finds Mark’s hand under the table. 

“I mostly worked with computers, no one’s seen me and since Jaemin hasn’t given them any real names, they have no idea.”

“Good. At least, you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry, Jeno.” Donghyuck’s gaze softens. “Do you, guys, know where you’ll go?”

“To China.” Renjun suddenly answers. 

Both Jeno and Jaemin look at him with surprise, but he just shrugs. 

“It’s not like they’re gonna look there. They haven’t spread the news that far, because we’re just small fish. We’ll get in contact with Chenle and he’ll get us there easily. I mean, he and Jisung are already there, so.”

“You’re brilliant.” Jaemin says. 

Renjun sends him a shy smile, and Yuta complains how flirting in this house was too much, even before the three of them appeared. 

They spent the evening reminiscing and talking about the future. Yuta’s planning to go to America for a while and try to find work there. Donghyuck will find an IT-related job and stay with Mark in Korea. Yerim hasn’t decided yet, she wants to wait till the police lets her sister go and then they’ll choose what to do together. Jaemin’s mostly quiet, like he’s afraid anyone will notice he’s still here. But soon, even he feels more at ease and joins the conversation. Jeno feels warm after drinking some alcohol and spends the evening snuggling into Renjun’s side. Hyuck keeps throwing glances at them and then at Jaemin, trying to guess whether the three of them are still together. If only it was that simple. 

Yuta leaves early, disgusted by the sight of Donghyuck and Mark together. Then follows Jaemin, not looking at either Jeno or Renjun. As soon as he’s gone, Yerim is at their throats, demanding to know what’s going on between them. She’s a bit tipsy though, and her attention is soon elsewhere.

While Mark persuades her to go to bed, Renjun touches Jeno’s shoulder in that special way that sends shivers down his spine. They slip off quietly, going upstairs, where Jaemin disappeared earlier. Jeno tugs at Renjun’s hand as soon as they manage the last step and kisses him. 

It’s the first time they’re touching each other like this, since everything started to fall apart and Jeno feels like he’s been finally pulled from underwater. The kisses are soft and loving and _happy_ , but he stops abruptly. Forehead to forehead they breathe in each other’s faces, and then Jeno looks at Renjun, asking a silent question. The other just shrugs, before saying:

“It’s not like we can make out only the two of us, with him sleeping in the same bed.”

They giggle and kiss once more, before heading to the room Mark showed them earlier. Jeno opens the door right before Jaemin’s face and for a second they just stare at each other. Renjun rolls his eyes, strolling past them to the bed, apparently leaving the talking to Jeno. Jaemin licks his lips and clearly feels awkward, but he asks anyway:

“Am I coming to China, too? Like, are we going together? The three of us.”

Jeno comes closer and takes Jaemin’s face in his hands. 

“Yes, we are. Since you can’t handle not seeing us even for a day, I doubt you have any other options”. 

Jaemin makes a strangled noise somewhere in his throat and leans forward to kiss him. It’s warm this time, not angry or impatient. Just loving. They take their time, Jaemin’s tongue slipping between his lips, his hands hugging Jeno closer. 

“Of course, take your time. It’s not like you have another boyfriend to think of.”

They smile into each other’s lips at the pout in Renjun’s voice.


End file.
